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Feliz Navidad

Larry: Feliz Navidad, Feliz Navidad, Feliz Navidad, 
Prospero año y felizidad.
Feliz Navidad, Feliz Navidad, Feliz Navidad,
Prospero año y felizidad.
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas, 
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas, 
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas, 
From the bottom of my heart!
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas, 
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas, 
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas, 
From the bottom of my heart!

(Repeat from beginning)

Larry: Tuba solo! Chicken dance!

Manuel: Hey, what are you doing? Stop that Chicken Dance.

Larry: Sorry.

Larry & Manuel: I want to wish you a Merry Christmas, 
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas, 
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas 
From the bottom of my heart!
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas, 
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas, 
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas 
From the bottom of my heart!
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas, 
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas, 
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas 
From the bottom of my heart!
Cha! Cha! Cha!

    
The Boar's Head Carol
Archie: The boar's head in hand bear I,
Bedecked with bays and rosemary.
And I pray you,
My pasters be merry
Qui estis in convivio.
    

Ring, Little Bells

Archie: Ring, bells, go ting-a-ling-a-ling,
Ring little bells!
O how cold the winter!
Will you let me enter?
Do not bar the doorway
On my blessed birthday!
Ring, bells, go ting-a-ling-aling,
Ring little bells!
See look, I'm ringing the little bells, just as the song suggests!

Larry: Can I ring the little bells too?

Bob:  Larry?!!

Archie:  Of course!

Larry:  This is fun!

Archie:  Yes!  Isn't it?...ring, ring little bells, ring... 
Sing with me won't you?

Archie & Larry:  Ring, bells, go ting-a-ling-a-ling,
Ring little bells!
In our hearts now stirring
'Mid the bells appearing
Joy and blessing Holy
From the Child so lowly
Ring, bells, go ting-a-ling-a-ling,
Ring little bells!
    

Go Tell It on the Mountain

Pa: Ahem, This is one o my favorite songs in the whole world! 
My dear mother taught me this song a long time ago in the hills of West Virginia!

Bob: Hey! What are you doing bringing a car in here!? That's new carpet!

Grapes: Go tell it on the mountain,
Over the hills, and everywhere!
Go tell it on the mountain,
That Jesus Christ is born.

Pa: Now, when I was a seeker,
I sought both night and day.
I asked the Lord to help me,
And he showed me the way.

Grapes: Go tell it on the mountain, 
Over the hills, and everywhere!
Go tell it on the mountain,
That Jesus Christ is born.

Pa: Oh, he made me a watchman
Upon the city wall,
And if I am a Christian,
I am the least of all.

Grapes: Go tell it on the mountain, 
Over the hills and everywhere.
Go tell it on the mountain
That Jesus Christ is born. 
(repeat)

 

Angels We Have Heard on High

Junior: Hey, look everyone! It's Palmy!

All: Hi, Palmy!

Palmy: Hello, everyone! Merry Christmas!

All: Merry Christmas!

Bob: Boy, am I glad to see you! Can you do your song right away?

Palmy: Sure! You got any food?

Bob: Larry...

Palmy: The name of this song is Angels We Have Heard On High. 
It's a song we sing every Christmas in Jamaca.
Angels we have heard on high, 
Sweetly singing o'er the plains.
And the mountains in reply, 
Echoing their joyous strains.
Shepherds, why this jubilee?
Why your joyous strains prolong? 
What the gladsome tidings be,
Which inspire your heavenly song?
Glo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oria in excelcies deo,
Glo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oria in excelcies deo.
Come to Bethlehem and see 
Him whose birth the angels sing;
Come adore on bended knee 
Christ the Lord the newborn King.
Glo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oria in excelcies deo,
Glo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oria in excelcies deo.
Come on! Come on! everybody sing!

All: Glo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oria in excelcies deo,
Glo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oria in excelcies deo.

Palmy: Beautiful! I love that song! 
    
Can't Believe It's Christmas!

Laura: I can't believe it's Christmas!
I think I'm finally gettin' something!
Can't believe it's Christmas!
My favorite time of year!

Percy: I can't believe it's Christmas!
Been dreaming of a sugarplum-thing!
Can't believe it's Christmas!
Oh, boy! It's finally here!

Dinkletown children: Yo! Ho! Away we go!
With rosey cheeks and hearts a-glowing.
Hey, hey! Our favorite day!
It makes us wanna cheer!
Yo! Ho! We love the snow!
At least we know we won't be mowing!
Ya! Hey! We're glad to say that Christmastime is here!!
We can't believe it's Christmas!
Been waiting for a million hours!
Can't believe it's Christmas,
Oh what a nifty day!
We can't believe it's Christmas!

Lenny: Took 14 baths and 18 showers!

Dinkletown children: Can't believe it's Christmas!
And now it's time to play!
We can't believe it's Christmas!
We think we're finally gettin' something
Can't believe it's Christmas,
Our favorite time of year!
We can't believe it's Christmas!
Been dreaming of a sugarplum-thing
Can't believe it's Christmas!
Oh, boy! It's finally...

George: Oy, my spinely!

Dinkletown children: Boy, it's finally here!


Grumpy Kids

Buzzsaw Louie: Grumpy kids, greedy dreams
This is not what Christmas means!
I'm just a toy, I don't claim to be a genius
But there must be more to Christmas!
There must be more to Christmas!
There must be more to Christmas...
I think we're really missing something
Must be more to Christmas,
...But what?
Oh! Santa
Narrator: And now it's time for Silly Songs with Larry,
the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song.
It's Christmas Eve, and Larry is anxiously awaiting the 
arrival of Santa Claus with a plate of cookies.

Larry: Oh, Santa!
I can't wait for you to come,
I just can't wait for you to come,
And I've got cookies!
Three yummy cookies!
Just for you for when you come,
Only for you for when you come
Because it's Christmas!

*Knock, knock, knock*

Larry: Could that be Santa?
Could that be him?
Could it be the one who brings presents for a cucumber like me,
A good cucumber like me?

Narrator: Larry is surprised to be greeted not by Santa, but a crafty bankrobber!

Larry: Who are you?

Bankrobber: I'm a bankrobber!
And I've come to rob your bank,
Oh yes! I've come to rob your bank,
And I've come to take your dimes and swipe your nickels.
So stand back, step aside you silly pickle!
And let me in!

Narrator: Although frightened by the intruder, in the spirit of Christmas Larry makes an offering.

Larry: I'm not a banker.
I have no bank my robbing friend,
But I have cookies
Three yummy cookies.
And I don't have nickels,
But please take this my robbing friend.
Eat one of these my robbing friend.
They are for Santa,
But you may have one.

Narrator: The bankrobber is truly touched by Larry's good will, but Larry, although momentarily distracted, is still excited about seeing Santa.

Larry/Bankrobber: Oh, Santa!
I'm a robber!
I can't wait for you to come,
And I came to rob your bank,
I just can't wait for you to come,
Oh yes - I came to rob your bank,
And I've got cookies!
You shared a cookie!
Two yummy cookies!
A yummy cookie!
Just for you for when you come,
Though I'd love to take your dimes,
Only for you for when you come
Perhaps another time

Both: Because it's Christmas!

*Knock, knock, knock*

Larry: Could that be Santa?
Could that be him?
Could it be the one who brings presents for a cucumber like me,
A good cucumber like me?

Narrator: Once again, it is not Santa who has come to Larry's door, but this time a savage Norseman.

Larry: Who are you?

Viking: I'm a Viking!
And I've come to take your land,
Oh yes! I've come to take your land,
And I've come to burn your crops and steal your horses!
And I've come to...uh, step on your chickens...
And soil your quilts!

Narrator: Although frightened by the intruder, in the spirit of Christmas, Larry makes an offering.

Larry: I don't have land.
I don't have crops, my Viking friend,
But I have cookies!
Two yummy cookies!
And I don't have horses,
But please take this my Viking friend.
Eat one of these my Viking friend.
They are for Santa, but you may have one!

Narrator: The Viking is also touched by Larry's good will, but Larry's thoughts are still with Santa.

Larry/Viking: Oh, Santa!
I'm a Viking.
I can't wait for you to come,
And I came to take your land,
I just can't wait for you to come,
Oh yes - I came to take your land,
I've got a cookie!
You shared a cookie,
A yummy cookie!
A yummy cookie!
Just for you for when you come,
Though I'd love to soil your quilts,
Only for you for when you come
I don't think that I wilt

Both: Because it's Christmas!

*Knock, knock, knock*

Larry: Could that be Santa?
Could that be him?
Could it be the one who brings presents for a cucumber like me,
A good cucumber like me?

Narrator: Larry is greeted now by an agent of the Internal Revenue Service.

Larry: Who are you?

Peach: I'm from the IRS!
And I've come to tax your...

*SLAM*

Larry: Oh, Santa!
I can't wait for you to come,
I just can't wait for you to come...
It's finally Santa!
It's finally him!
At last, the one who brings presents for a cucumber like me,
A good cucumber like me!

Santa: I'm Santa!
And I've come to bring you gifts,
Oh yes! I've come to bring you gifts,
And I've come to stuff your stockings
Oh ho-ho-ho!
And I've come to jiggle my belly.
And wiggle my nose!
Hey, wait a minute!
Isn't that my belt?
And what are you doing with my hat?
So you're the ones!

Bankrobber: Wait a minute, I can explain!

Viking: We've changed!

Santa: Nobody messes with Santa!
You know that don't you!?
You've been very naughty!
And I've got a list!

Peach: Did you claim that?

Larry: Merry Christmas!

 

He is Born, The Holy Child

French Peas: He is born, the Holy Child,
Play the oboe and bagpipes merrily!
He is born, the Holy Child,
Sing we all of the Savior mild.
Through long ages of the past,
Prophets have foretold his coming;
Through long ages of the past;
Now the time has come at last!
Oh how lovely, Oh how pure
Is this perfect Child of Heaven.
Oh how lovely, Oh how pure
Precious gift of God to man.
Through long of the past,
Prophets have foretold His coming;
Through long ages of the past;
Now the time has come at last!
Jesus, Lord of all the world
Grant to  us a heavenly peace
He is born, the Holy Child,
Play the oboe and bagpipes merrily!
He is born, the Holy Child,
Sing we all of the Savior mild.

    
While By My Sheep
Junior: While by my sheep, I watched at night.
Glad tidings brought and angel bright.
How great out joy.  (Sheep echo)
Joy, joy, joy. (Sheep echo)
Praise ye the Lord in Heaven on high. (Sheep echo)
There shall be born, so he did say
In Bethlehem a child today.
How great a joy. (Sheep echo)
Joy, joy, joy. (Sheep echo)
Praise ye the Lord in Heaven on high. (Sheep echo)
How great our joy. (Sheep echo)
Joy, joy, joy. (Sheep echo)
Praise ye the Lord in Heaven on high. (Sheep echo)
How great our joy. (Sheep echo)
Joy, joy, joy. (Sheep echo)
Praise ye the Lord in Heaven on high. (Sheep echo)


The 8 Polish Foods of Christmas
Bob: So, what did you bring us?

Oscar: What I bring you? I tell you what I bring you.
The first Polish Christmas dish I bring to the party,
A boiled potato topped with dillweed.
The second Polish Christmas dish I bring to the party,
Two steamed pierogies...

Jimmy: What's a pierogi?

Oscar: It's a dough, wrapped around meat.

Jimmy: Oh...

All: And a boiled potato topped with dillweed.

Oscar: The third Polish Christmas dish I bring to the party,
Three simmered gwumpkies...

Larry: What's a gwumpkey?

Oscar: It's a cabbage wrapped around meat.

Larry:  Oh..

Jimmy: Two steamed pierogies.

All: And a boiled potato topped with dillweed.

Oscar: The fourth Polish Christmas dish I bring to the party
Four baked paprikas...

Archibald: Now, what is a paprika?

Oscar: It's a bell pepper stuffed with meat.

Archibald: I see.

Larry: Three Simmered gwumpkies,

Jimmy: Two steamed pierogis,

All: And a boiled potato topped with dillweed.

Oscar: The fifth Polish Christmas dish I bring to the party,
Five smoked kielbasas!

Pa: What's a kielbasa?

Oscar: It's pretty much just meat.

Pa: Oh.

Archibald: Four baked paprikas,

Larry: Three simmered gwumpkies,

Jimmy: Two steamed pierogis,

All: And a boiled potato topped with dillweed.

Oscar: The sixth Polish Cristmas dish I bring to the party,
Six fried hoosecheekies.

Bob: Let me guess, something in the meat family?

Oscar: Actually, it's a delightful pastry with a thin flaky crust.

All: Ohhhhh!

Pa: Five smoked kielbasas!

Archibald: Four baked paprikas,

Larry: Three simmered gwumpkies,

Jimmy: Two steamed pierogis,

All: And a boiled potato topped
with dill weed.

Bob: Wow Oscar, I'm gettin' kinda full, I think that's about..

Oscar: The seventh Polish Christmas dish I bring to the party,
Seven pitted prunes...

Jr: I don't like prunes!

Oscar: With this food, you'll need 'em son.

Archie: Oh, is that right!

Pa: Uh huh!

Bob: Six fried hoosecheekies,

Pa: Five smoked kielbasas!

Archibald: Four baked paprikas,

Larry: Three simmered gwumpkies,

Jimmy: Two steamed pierogis,

All: And a boiled potato topped
with dill weed.

Pa;  I'm gunna bust!  I couldn't eat another bi...

Oscar: The eighth Polish Christmas dish I bring to the party,
Eight poppy seed cakes,

Larry: Poppies, poppies, poppies...

Archibald: I'm feeling rather sleepy. There's no place like home.

Jr: Seven pitted prunes,

Bob: Six fried hooscheekies,

Pa: Five smoked kielbasas!

Arcibald: Four baked paprikas,

Larry: Three simmered gwumpkis,

Jimmy: Two steamed pierogis,

All: And a boiled potato topped with dillweed!

    
The Big Medley!
Bob: ...Nobody sleeps until we sing the big meadly!
Come on guys! Get up here! Pa, Junior, Jimmy, Jerry, that's it! Larry!
All you french pea guys! This is the best Christmas ever!

All: Joy to the world, the Lord is come, 
Let Earth receive her King!
Let every heart prepare him room
And Heaven and nature sing, 
And Heaven and nature sing, 
And Heaven and Heaven and nature sing.

Junior & Mom: Joy to the Earth the Savior reigns. 
Let men their songs employ.
While fields and flood, rocks, hills and planes 
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat the sounding joy, 
Repeat, repeat the sounding joy.

All: He rules the world with truth and grace, 
And makes the nations prove, 
The glories of his righteousness 
And wonders of his love, 
And wonders of his love.
And wonders, wonders of his love!

Junior: O little town of Bethlehem 
How still we see thee lie, 
Above thy deep and dreamless sleep the silent stars go by. 
Yet in thy dark streets shineth, the everlasting light. 
The hopes and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight.

Junior & Archie: O Holy Child of Bethlehem,
Descend to us we pray.
Cast out our sin and enter in. 
Be born in us today. 
We hear the Christmas angels
The great glad tidings tell. 
O come to us abide with us our Lord, Emmanuel.

All: O come all ye faithful joyful and triumphant!
O come ye, O come ye to Bethlehem.
Come and behold him, born the King of angels.
O come let us adore Him, 
O come let us adore Him,
O come let us adore Him, Christ the Lord!
Sing, choirs of angels. Sing in exaltation!
O sing, all ye citizens of Heaven above!
Glory to God, in the highest.
O come let us adore Him, 
O come let us adore Him,
O come let us adore Him Christ the Lord!

Larry: We wish you a Merry Christmas.
We wish you a Merry Christmas.
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!

All: We wish you a Merry Christmas.
We wish you a Merry Christmas.
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!
Good tidings to you wherever you are.
Good tidings of Christmas and a happy New Year
We wish you a Merry Christmas.
We wish you a Merry Christmas.
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!

    
Away in a Manger
Junior: Away in a manger, no crib for a bed
The little Lord Jesus lay down his sweet head.
The stars in the sky look down where he lay,
The little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay

Mom Asparagus: The cattle are lowing, the Baby awakes
But little Lord Jesus no crying He makes.
I love thee, Lord Jesus look down from the sky,
And stay by my cradle 'til morning is nigh.

Junior: And stay by my cradle 'til morning is nigh.
Merry Christmas, Mom