The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything
Narrator: And now it's time for Silly Songs with Larry, the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song. Joining Larry are Pa Grape and Mr. Lunt who, together, make up the infamous gang of scallywags, the "Pirates Who Won't Do Anything"
We are the Pirates who don't do
Larry: "We don't do anything."
Pa Grape: Well...I've never been to Greenland,
Cause we're the
Mr. Lunt: "We don't do anything."
All: 'Cause we're the
Larry: Well...I've never plucked a rooster,
Pa Grape: Huh? What are you talking aboutt? What's a rooster and mashed potatoes have to do with being a pirate?
Mr. Lunt: Ya, dat's right! We're supposed to sing about pirate-y things.
Pa Grape: And who's ever kissed a chipmunk? That's just nonsense! Why even bring it up? Am I right? What do you think?
Mr. Lunt: I think you look like Capt'n Crunch.
Pa Grape: Huh?! No I don't.
Mr. Lunt: Do too.
Pa Grape: Do not!
Mr. Lunt: You're making me hungry.
Pa Grape: That's it! You're walkin' the plank!
Mr. Lunt: Says who?
Pa Grape: Says the Capt'n, that's who!
Mr. Lunt: Oh yeah? Aye, Aye Capt'n Crunch! hee hee!
Pa Grape: ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGG!!!!!!!
Mr. Lunt: Yikes!
Larry: And...I've never licked a spark plug,
Pa Grape: You just don't get it!
All: And we've never been to Boston in the Fall!
Pa Grape: Pass the chips.
Larry: Here it is!
Mr. Lunt: Time for Geraldo!
Pa Grape: It's definitely time for Wapner.
Mr. Lunt: Oh, I don't like this show.
Larry: Hey, look! I found a quarter!
It's Laura's Fault
Dad: Hi, Junior. How was your day? My plate! My Art Bogatti limited edition collectors plate! What happened to it?
Junior: Well, it's Laura's fault; she broke the plate!
Dad: Oh my. If that's what you say happened, then, well, I trust you, Junior.
Junior: Accually, Laura didn't break the plate. It was...it was Lenny!
Percy: Her brother?!?
Junior: Yep, that's right! Lenny broke the plate! I'll
tell you the whole story!
Female Singers: Larry-boy!
Who do they call
Where do you turn
Female Singers: Larry-boy!
Percy: We didn't have a lot of fun in the desert.
Tom: But saddle up your cow
Percy: It's all behind us now!
All: Because we're going to the Promised land!!
Jimmy: For years I've eaten nothing but manna!
Jerry: But now we're on our way
Pa Grape: I'll have a cheese soufflÚ!
Because we're going to the Promised land!!
Scooter: The dining was lousy with Moses.
Jimmy: I'd like a taco please...and some pitas and cheese!
All: Because we're goin' to the Promised land!!
And in the Promised land
Jimmy: With waffles on my plate!
All: 'Cause we're goin' to the Promised land!!
Pa Grape: I hear's it's flowing
Jimmy: Sounds sticky
'Cause we're going to the Promised land!!
The Lord Has Given
Josh: The Lord has given this land to us.
Israelites: The Lord has given this land to us.
Jean-Claude: What are you doing?
Jimmy: We're going to knock your wall down!
Jean-Claude: By walking around in circles?
Phillipe: Oh. That's a great idea! You go ahead and keep
Jean-Claude: I pity them, Phillipe.
Phillipe: Ah! Me oui, Jean-Claude! Me oui!
Jean-Claude: It would be an honor!
Jean-Claude and Phillipe:
All Peas: Keep walking!
The Lord Has Given (Reprise)
Junior: The Lord has given this land to us.
Promised Land (Reprise)
Jimmy: Ahhh!!! Boy, did I pick a lousy day to wear my contacts!
And in the Promised land
Jimmy: Does anyone have any saline?
Song of the Ceb˙
Narrator: And now it's time for Silly Songs With Larry.
The part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly
Larry: This is me and the bull.
Larry: This is me and the bull and I think that's the bull's cousin...He's a ceb˙.
Archibald: Hold it! You call this a multimedia event? This is a slide projector and a bed sheet! And what on earth is a ceb˙ anyway?
Larry: It's kinda like a cow. See?
Archibald: Yes...Well...Very good...This could be interesting...Carry on.
Larry: Boy is riding with ceb˙.
Audience: Boy is riding with ceb˙.
Larry: Into town in his canoe.
Audience: Into town in his canoe.
Larry: Sick ceb˙ is rowing and sneezing,
Audience: Achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo, moo moo.
Larry: Hippo chewing on bamboo.
Audience: Hippo chewing on bamboo.
Larry: Can't see boy and three ceb˙.
Audience: Can't see boy and three ceb˙.
Larry: Sad ceb˙ is rowing and crying, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, moo moo.
Audience: boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, moo moo.
Larry: Hippo seen by mute ceb˙.
Audience: Hippo seen by mute ceb˙.
Larry: Tried to tell the other two.
Audience: Tries to tell the other two.
Larry: Mute ceb˙ is waving and grunting, mm-mm mm-mm mm-mm mm-mm, mm-mm mm-mm mm-mm mm-mm, mm-mm!
Audience: mm-mm mm-mm mm-mm mm-mm, mm-mm mm-mm mm-mm mm-mm, mm-mm mm-mm mm-mm mm-mm, mm-mm mm-mm mm-mm mm-mm, mm-mm.
Archibald: Wait!!! What hapens next??
Archibald: Does the hippo see them? Is the poor mute ceb˙ successful in communicating the imminent danger to the other passengers?? Is the boy injured? Why is the sad ceb˙ sad? Is the canoe wood or aluminum? This is quite disappointing. I'm going to have to speak to Bob about this!
Larry: Oh look! A ceb˙!
Larry: No wait. That's a water buffalo.
Audience: No more song about ceb˙. Need another verse or two. Audience is standing and leaving, bye-bye moo moo bye-bye moo moo, bye-bye moo moo bye-bye moo moo, moo moo.
Jimmy: I want my money back.
Jerry: Yeah. That'd be good.
What We Have Learned
Bob: It's time to talk about what we've learned today.
Voice: And so what we have learned applies to our
Voice: You see, we know that God's Word is for everyone,